As winter turns to spring, so to must we return to Awards Season Content once again.

Well, it's been a year for cinemas and cinematical efforts. The pandemic is slowly receding into the distance, and while the collapse of the Golden Globes might leave you wondering if Awards Season Content is a thing of the past, let it be known that we will never let it go. We've been here too long. We can't give up now, and neither can you.

With that in mind, let's crack on with the unreasonably out-there predictions for this year's Oscars. We're narrowing our predictions to three categories - Best Picture, Best Actor, and Best Actress. For Best Director, we're just going to say Denis Villeneuve because 'Dune' was incredible and he should win everything, everywhere, all the time.


Let's not kid ourselves - this is going to be a tough year, tougher than last year even, to predict. Why? Because last year was so nuts for the Oscars, you simply had to throw out the book. We're in a slight return to normality this year, and while the PGA nominations are out there, the race to Best Picture is still without any clear-cut winner. 'Power of the Dog' might be the bookies' favourite, but experience tells us it's just too odd and weird to win when you've got 'Belfast' in there. Still, here's our pick for the ten nominations and potential winner.

Likely Nominees:

Potential Winner(s) So Far:

  • 'Belfast', because it damn well deserves it
  • 'The Power of the Dog', even though it seems far too dark / weird for the Academy
  • 'Drive My Car', because it could surprise us all?


Unlike Best Picture or Best Actress, it would seem that Best Actor is pretty much locked in for Benedict Cumberbatch in 'Power of the Dog' and that's no bad thing. His performance was that good, and he deserves the little gold statue for his mantelpiece. On top of that, there really hasn't been anything this year that can reasonably hold a candle to it.

Sure, Denzel's Macbeth was equal to Joel Coen's direction, but when Frances MacDormand turned up for her big scene? He was a distant memory. Likewise, Will Smith will get a nomination for 'King Richard' because of course he will, but he's not going to win for it. Why should he? Thirty years ago, maybe, 'King Richard' could have been a big hit at the Oscars, but not anymore. The only other runners we see in this category are either Andrew Garfield for 'tick, tick...BOOM!' or maybe but not likely Nicolas Cage in 'Pig', but honestly, this is Benetton Cucumber's to lose.

Likely Nomineees:

  • Bandersnatch Camembert for 'The Power of the Dog'
  • Will Smith for 'King Richard'
  • Denzel Washington for 'The Tragedy of Macbeth'
  • Andrew Garfield for 'tick, tick...BOOM!'
  • Nicolas Cage for 'Pig'

Potential Winner So Far:

  • Bellicose Camomile for 'The Power of the Dog'


Oh dear. OK. Deep breath, here we go. We're going to piss off a quadrant of our readership here, but Lady Gaga in 'House of Gucci' was quite honestly not that good. OK, let's qualify that a little bit. She was hilarious in it. She was a walking, talking Italian hand gesture emoji. The fact that she's doing a press tour and talking like she went full method and mainlined Dolmio Sauce to get into her role is equally hilarious. Will this land her a nomination? Probably. Will this lead to a win? Not on your life.

That said, this is not an easy category to call. For one, it's been a strong year for female performances. You've got our own Caitríona Balfe in 'Belfast' practically leading the whole show, there's also Kristen Stewart going all out in 'Spencer'. Olivia Colman in 'The Lost Daughter' is also definitely worth a bet, not to mention Jennifer Hudson for 'Respect', Rachel Zegler for 'West Side Story' or even Alana Haim for 'Licorice Pizza'. There's also Nicole Kidman for 'Being The Riccardoes' in there too, even if it wasn't very good but very awards-friendly.

Still, we persist. Here goes.

Likely Nominees:

Potential Winner So Far:

  • If Caitríona Balfe doesn't win this, maybe Olivia Colman could pick up a second one?


The way things are with the pandemic in the US, you can probably guess that the Oscars is going to go all-out for this year's ceremony. Yeah, last year was all intimate and a little bit odd, but this year, it's back to big time. There's going to be a red carpet a mile wide and ten miles long. E! are going to be camped out every hundred yards with a camera crew and a sniper in case anyone tries to duck them. Lady Gaga will probably bring that meat-dress back for old time's sake. Jack Nicholson will emerge from his nude-sleeping oxygen tent that gives him sexual powers to make jokes and wear his sunglasses. The natural order will be restored.

That said, the advancements in hosting technology will be such that we will most likely not see a host again for this year's ceremony. After all the drama with Kevin Hart the last time and the fact that a host just slows the whole thing down and wasn't all that missed in the first place, the only other foreseeable option is the Oscars - in a desperate bid for youth relevancy like their Twitter account - turns the hosting duties over to the Island Boys. AMPAS, if you're reading this, please note that we are joking and this is not a suggestion.

As to the nominations themselves, they'll be announced on February 8th and we're predicting it'll be a nice spring day, maybe a little cloud cover, and temperatures of around eight to ten degrees.