And you thought the police photos of Justin Bieber's tats were perplexing. And what about those fingers? FILTEE, FILTEE, DORTEEEE!. It's surprising his mam let's him away with that given she's got one of her eyes tattooed on him and therefore can see what he's up to at all times.

Apologies, you're looking for an article featuring Ellie Goulding's chest area. Here you go.

First of all, I'd like to compliment her on her make up, I could stare at those eyes all day (lucky Dougie) Secondly, WHAT in the name of JAYSIS is crawling up her chest there? Is it a tarantula? Is her chest having an earthquake? Has she got actual crabs? Is it Death himself? Edward Scissorhands? Most importantly, is it permanent?!

Feedback on Instagram doesn't really center around that fact that she appears to have Freddie Krueger residing in her armpit. It's mainly people requesting her hand in marriage, and this little nugget from Kassalina: "#dauntless @lizzer88 I'm pretty sure she is my spirit animal."

OK, mystery solved, she's been attacked by a tiger. Or a particularly pissed house cat.